Girls Aloud - Can't Speak French

Something is wrong here. This cannot be a genuine Girls Aloud single surely? There is no ridiculously infectious shout-out-loud chorus or blasting guitars meet riot-hard beats, and this, no matter how many drinks you have down you, will not have you dancing like a fool at the next Christmas work party that's for sure.

It's not as though the Girls can't do the slow song well either, as last single Call The Shots was a cooing piece of sexy-synth pop-brilliance. Can't Speak French is a disappointment of strummed guitars, cheap bass, pointless drums and the five-piece sound as sassy as a soggy tea-dunked biscuit.

A less-than-impressive chart entry looming? Possibly, but please then go away and learn from your mistakes and all will be forgiven when production supremos Xenomania deliver us another Sexy! No No No or The Show.